Single? Cursed!
Hi, my name is Kelly, I am single and cursed. Well, at least that's the way the things sound to me here.
I never cared too much about my "status", when I was in Brazil. Single, committed, married (ooops, this one I've never been), I always had fun, alone or with friends. But since I've moved to Norway, I could feel how the "single" label counts a lot in your relationships.
I am the only one single in my norwegian class. Sometimes I feel like the others look at me with pity, specially the girls who moved to live with their boyfriends. I don't know if it's true, but who will disagree with someone on PMS? ;)
I don't know about the girls from my class, but what I've seen here is the fact of committed girls they live in groups. And you are NOT allowed to join them, at least if you are single. I don't want to join this sorority just because I am in a foreign country. I want to find someone right. But they don't care...
Friendship in Norway is hard, most part of norwegians are too cold. I have few friends, one of them brazilian (and committed, damn). I miss to have a boyfriend, of course I do. But I don't think the right person is close to me, at least now. Yes, if you are wondering, I am single, but not alone. But I still need to be loved (and love). I don't want to set up a relationship because "I need it".
Yes, commitment brings a new breathe in your circle of relationship. New friends (friends of your partner) and a smile in their face because finally you are "figure out" (yes, if you watched Sex and The City, you are right, I brought the idea from that episode). Is this fear?
Single people, for some of couples, remember the life before the commitment. Sometimes it's depressed, specially if they stop their lifes (like go out, meet friends, do things alone) just to live with each other (a.k.a. pass the whole weekend watching tv/dvd). So, why remember this? Let's just remove these people from our lives!
I don't want a boyfriend right now. Maybe later. What I want now is to be free of "poor little thing" look and be with someone who makes me laugh, even if we are not having sex. Is this too much to ask?
Maybe the things will change when I get more activities, when I get over my fear to practise my norwegian, but until there I will keep myself using my blogs, my msn and the telephones to remember me I am not alone in this place.
The "so called" sun
One of the things I was sure when I choose Norway to work as an au pair, it was the missing sun. My original neighborhood was the hottest - I don't mean sexy, but warm - neighborhood in Rio de Janeiro. Almost every day, specially in the summer, I should stand the very shinning sun. Work in Bangu, if you don't have an air-conditioner, means suffer and sweat. So I thought, maybe my body needs a shock treatment.
Soon as I arrived in Norway, I discovered I was prepared just for the norwegian spring...the brazilian winter clothes are nothing to survive the winter. No problem. The real thing was: most part of the time when we have sun, the temperature falls. In January here in Bergen we had some days with -4 degrees (not usual to this place). Those days, most part of them, were sunny. I felt sad, seeing a yellow shinning ball in the sky, but impossible to warm me. Now my dream is to stay one week swimming in Rio das Ostras or Ilha Grande (forget Salvador, Natal and these stuffs. We have everything in Rio de Janeiro :D). Maybe it's natural from human being, to desire exactly what you've leaved before. But I still don't miss to walk home with 40 degrees in my head...
Freedom of what?!
Today I've gotten a really strange surprise...In my fotolog, my last post was about the danish newspaper and the islamic cartoons. When I entered to check if someone new said something...yes, someone told.
A "norwegian" said I should come back to Brazil (well, he wrote with "s"), because Norway support Denmark, saying about some cartoons talking bad things about Jesus (uh, I thought muslims believe in Jesus like one prophet, but what I know in front of a norwegian? They are the kings of the knowledge) and they send millions to arabian countries....oooooh, poor Denmark, poor Norway...they do this because they are SO nice...and these bad muslims replies burning them...
So, here is my answer:
Should I care about what the norwegians do?
Or here the freedom of speech is forbidden to foreigners?First, why are you SO afraid to write in portuguese?
Second, why Danmark are blaming ALL ARABIANS for few ones who are doing violent protests?Third? Why dannish people boicot all taxis guided by muslims? Freedom of speech too? I feel so sad because Lego, one fucking big business is being boicotted...ahã...
Fourth, why the same newspaper REFUSED to publish cartoons about Jesus, because IT COULD OFFEND SOMEONE? Freedom of speech is one thing, RESPECT THE CULTURES IS ANOTHER THING. If the danish newspaper doesn't know how to respect (and YOU, of course), it should be prepared for the reactions.
Fifth, why Denmark and Norway sent troops to Iraq and Afeghanistan? To "peace"? NO!
Dude, you should stop reading only scandinavian newspapers, you will know NOTHING about the world outside...By the way, you should know it was just not the cartoons who begin this "war"...it isn't very smart just to believe only in newspapers...but what do I know, Thomas? I am only a latin american girl, who needs desperate a norwegian guy to get married and live forever in this "paradise"...Ashamed? I would be ashamed to post something without any address to reply...are you afraid of what? Receive a bomb? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA...Thank God, my norwegian friends are so different of you, coward...
Of course, he will never answer. I am even sure if he was a real norwegian...but I hate stupid people...
Conversations - part 2
(...)
- So...what did you yesterday?
- I had a hangout and earlier I got a new tatoo.
- Let me see!
*He shows*
- I passed some hours sitting down, feeling pain. I was so pity of myself...
- You don't deserve that.
- What? Pain?
- No, pity.
(...)
(...)
- I'll be sitting down, watching Apocalypse Now, eating chocolate and pasta...
- Lol, lol, lol, lol, lol, lol...
- Ok...let me explain...first, I'll eat the pasta, after I'll eat chocolate. Got it?
- Aaaaah! You know, I am blond!
(...)
Conversations
(...)
- We can watch Harry Potter.
- Nooooo way! Forget it! Harry Potter is out of question.
- But I want to watch Harry Potter!
- This is your problem, not mine!
(...)
(...)
- What's your job?
- I sell my ass.
- I'm serious! What's your job?
- I'm serious too, I sell my ass!
- Sorry, but if you have to sell your ass, you'll be poor. So, answer me: what's your job!
- I am poor, so I sell my ass!
- AAAAAAAAAAARGH!
(...)
(...)
- Stop doing this, I'm feeling ridiculous.
- You can feel ridiculous when you are forty, and you have to show it for a doctor, not for me.
(...)
