My Walter ego

Cell phone

2006-09-27T21:51:00.000+02:00

(...)

- It's quite boring! I want to ask you about your sexual life, but I was there when you had one!
- Well, it almost happened something, two weeks ago!
- SHUT UP! Tell me!
(...)
- She was drunk, everybody was drunk, except me. (...) Then she kissed me.
- That's so HOT!*
- I asked her if she wants to fuck me.
- Oh my gosh, that's hot!
- We went to the bathroom.
- Shut up! That is hot!!!
- But someone knocked on the door and she ran, scared.
- Sad...
- But I got her phone number.
- Hmmm. Hot!
- And then I found out at my friend is in love with her, and he saw everything.
- Not hot.

(...)

* Paris Hilton mode ON

Ap is wrong.

2006-09-26T13:48:00.000+02:00

Today I've got the news: the park where my host kid goes, will be closed because they don't receive financial support enough from the government. "Why?", you ask. Because Ap wants to all kids go to kindergarden. "Why?", again. They say because children of immigrants come to school with no norwegian at ALL. For God's sake, school is for what??? TEACH, right? I don't understand why they are whinning about!
With this, Ap will prove one thing: they are no better than the norwegian right wing, because they are thinking for a short while. After that, those kindergarden they built, will close! There aren't enough child here in Norway!!!

NOOOOO!

2006-09-17T23:02:00.000+02:00

I am not dead!
I am not dead!
I am not dead!
I am not dead!
I am not dead!

I was blocked! Soooorry! Yes, one more time, damn, I am single again! I'll be back soon, not today...too late here in Norway =/

World Cup and me

2006-06-12T18:30:00.000+02:00

Yes, 2006 is world cup year... everybody is happy, watching your country (or the country you have sympathy) play. Of course, the news from Brazil is like no one thinks about another thing than soccer. A lot of almost naked women dancing, carrying our flag and bla bla bla bla bla...
Is it true? No.
I don't like the portrait from Brazil from USA/European media. They paint us like "happy all the time" (cute way to call a population dumb) and our "freedom" (everybody are naked and we make sex in every possible place). And where the world cup could affect me?
It's simple: in their vision, we are not capable to do other things. We have violence, but we don't care (too busy watching/playing soccer). We don't care about politicians (we care about Ronaldinho, Ronaldo and other soccer players). Ok, yes, we have people who behave like this. But we are not stupid.
I really don't care if Brazil won or lose the world cup. I don't like soccer either. So, why someone still insists to ask me about brazilian soccer team, players, positions or whatever?

Someone

2006-05-27T19:33:00.000+02:00

Who hates to lose.
Who blushes everytime when get a compliment.
Who is shy.
Who is reckless.
Who tells the truth.
Who doesn't tell dirty things.
Who hugs you in the middle of the night.
Who lives a little away from you.
Who is handsome.
Who has so many things to show, but doesn't have any idea.
What this kind of person does with your head? And your heart?
Everything is spinnig around and I am loving to be part of his life anyway.
Sweetheart.

Question

2006-04-10T18:18:00.000+02:00

When someone asks you if you have friends, there is something wrong with you, right?

GOA

2006-03-18T17:40:00.000+01:00

Try to guess what does it mean.
A place? No.
Music style? No.
A person? So far not!
GOA it's just Going Out Alone. Have you tried this?
Most people feels just terrified if they have to go out without someone (or without the possibility to meet someone). Some of them prefers to stay at home!
Well, I am used to GOA. Even when I was in Brazil...last carnival I spent it all by myself. It was great, I have the opportunity to meet a lot of people and come back home alone, when I want.
Of course, to practise GOA it's not so easy, specially if you LOOOOVE to talk and comment about other people (a.k.a. gossip). Going out, staying quiet most part of the night, even if you meet someone, probably the intimacy will not be the same as if it was with a friend. It's a risk to take (and sometimes it's not so worthy as it sounds).
People still looks amazed when you say "I am going out alone". Well, some of are not amazed, maybe thinking you are a freak...but who cares? Why do I have to go out in a group all the time? Am I what? A kind of animal who needs to be in group all the time? No way!
I am practising GOA here in Norway since last week. And it's being worthy...until now!
Do you want to practise GOA? Here are some tips:

a) Don't be afraid...people bites only if you ask (well, most part of them)
b) Try to explore new places to go
c) Don't just stay sitting down looking...go, do some actions like dance
d) Someone start being annoying trying to talk with you? Give an excuse and disappear
e) Tell someone where are you going...just for safety
and last, but not least...
f) Yes, you can have fun alone! Go and try it!

Going out a

2006-03-18T17:39:00.000+01:00

Single? Cursed!

2006-02-25T22:26:00.000+01:00

Hi, my name is Kelly, I am single and cursed. Well, at least that's the way the things sound to me here.
I never cared too much about my "status", when I was in Brazil. Single, committed, married (ooops, this one I've never been), I always had fun, alone or with friends. But since I've moved to Norway, I could feel how the "single" label counts a lot in your relationships.
I am the only one single in my norwegian class. Sometimes I feel like the others look at me with pity, specially the girls who moved to live with their boyfriends. I don't know if it's true, but who will disagree with someone on PMS? ;)
I don't know about the girls from my class, but what I've seen here is the fact of committed girls they live in groups. And you are NOT allowed to join them, at least if you are single. I don't want to join this sorority just because I am in a foreign country. I want to find someone right. But they don't care...
Friendship in Norway is hard, most part of norwegians are too cold. I have few friends, one of them brazilian (and committed, damn). I miss to have a boyfriend, of course I do. But I don't think the right person is close to me, at least now. Yes, if you are wondering, I am single, but not alone. But I still need to be loved (and love). I don't want to set up a relationship because "I need it".
Yes, commitment brings a new breathe in your circle of relationship. New friends (friends of your partner) and a smile in their face because finally you are "figure out" (yes, if you watched Sex and The City, you are right, I brought the idea from that episode). Is this fear?
Single people, for some of couples, remember the life before the commitment. Sometimes it's depressed, specially if they stop their lifes (like go out, meet friends, do things alone) just to live with each other (a.k.a. pass the whole weekend watching tv/dvd). So, why remember this? Let's just remove these people from our lives!
I don't want a boyfriend right now. Maybe later. What I want now is to be free of "poor little thing" look and be with someone who makes me laugh, even if we are not having sex. Is this too much to ask?
Maybe the things will change when I get more activities, when I get over my fear to practise my norwegian, but until there I will keep myself using my blogs, my msn and the telephones to remember me I am not alone in this place.

The "so called" sun

2006-02-16T12:22:00.000+01:00

One of the things I was sure when I choose Norway to work as an au pair, it was the missing sun. My original neighborhood was the hottest - I don't mean sexy, but warm - neighborhood in Rio de Janeiro. Almost every day, specially in the summer, I should stand the very shinning sun. Work in Bangu, if you don't have an air-conditioner, means suffer and sweat. So I thought, maybe my body needs a shock treatment.
Soon as I arrived in Norway, I discovered I was prepared just for the norwegian spring...the brazilian winter clothes are nothing to survive the winter. No problem. The real thing was: most part of the time when we have sun, the temperature falls. In January here in Bergen we had some days with -4 degrees (not usual to this place). Those days, most part of them, were sunny. I felt sad, seeing a yellow shinning ball in the sky, but impossible to warm me. Now my dream is to stay one week swimming in Rio das Ostras or Ilha Grande (forget Salvador, Natal and these stuffs. We have everything in Rio de Janeiro :D). Maybe it's natural from human being, to desire exactly what you've leaved before. But I still don't miss to walk home with 40 degrees in my head...

Freedom of what?!

2006-02-14T12:38:00.000+01:00

Today I've gotten a really strange surprise...In my fotolog, my last post was about the danish newspaper and the islamic cartoons. When I entered to check if someone new said something...yes, someone told.
A "norwegian" said I should come back to Brazil (well, he wrote with "s"), because Norway support Denmark, saying about some cartoons talking bad things about Jesus (uh, I thought muslims believe in Jesus like one prophet, but what I know in front of a norwegian? They are the kings of the knowledge) and they send millions to arabian countries....oooooh, poor Denmark, poor Norway...they do this because they are SO nice...and these bad muslims replies burning them...
So, here is my answer:

Should I care about what the norwegians do? Or here the freedom of speech is forbidden to foreigners?
First, why are you SO afraid to write in portuguese?
Second, why Danmark are blaming ALL ARABIANS for few ones who are doing violent protests?Third? Why dannish people boicot all taxis guided by muslims? Freedom of speech too? I feel so sad because Lego, one fucking big business is being boicotted...ahã...
Fourth, why the same newspaper REFUSED to publish cartoons about Jesus, because IT COULD OFFEND SOMEONE? Freedom of speech is one thing, RESPECT THE CULTURES IS ANOTHER THING. If the danish newspaper doesn't know how to respect (and YOU, of course), it should be prepared for the reactions.
Fifth, why Denmark and Norway sent troops to Iraq and Afeghanistan? To "peace"? NO!
Dude, you should stop reading only scandinavian newspapers, you will know NOTHING about the world outside...By the way, you should know it was just not the cartoons who begin this "war"...it isn't very smart just to believe only in newspapers...but what do I know, Thomas? I am only a latin american girl, who needs desperate a norwegian guy to get married and live forever in this "paradise"...Ashamed? I would be ashamed to post something without any address to reply...are you afraid of what? Receive a bomb? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA...Thank God, my norwegian friends are so different of you, coward...

Of course, he will never answer. I am even sure if he was a real norwegian...but I hate stupid people...

Conversations - part 2

2006-02-11T20:54:00.000+01:00

(...)
- So...what did you yesterday?
- I had a hangout and earlier I got a new tatoo.
- Let me see!
*He shows*
- I passed some hours sitting down, feeling pain. I was so pity of myself...
- You don't deserve that.
- What? Pain?
- No, pity.
(...)

(...)
- I'll be sitting down, watching Apocalypse Now, eating chocolate and pasta...
- Lol, lol, lol, lol, lol, lol...
- Ok...let me explain...first, I'll eat the pasta, after I'll eat chocolate. Got it?
- Aaaaah! You know, I am blond!
(...)

Conversations

2006-02-03T12:39:00.000+01:00

(...)
- We can watch Harry Potter.
- Nooooo way! Forget it! Harry Potter is out of question.
- But I want to watch Harry Potter!
- This is your problem, not mine!
(...)

(...)
- What's your job?
- I sell my ass.
- I'm serious! What's your job?
- I'm serious too, I sell my ass!
- Sorry, but if you have to sell your ass, you'll be poor. So, answer me: what's your job!
- I am poor, so I sell my ass!
- AAAAAAAAAAARGH!
(...)

(...)
- Stop doing this, I'm feeling ridiculous.
- You can feel ridiculous when you are forty, and you have to show it for a doctor, not for me.
(...)

Death and painting

2006-01-11T15:24:00.000+01:00

These last days, the death was surrounding me. I discovered my cousin is dead (he died last 23rd of december) and other news I prefer to don't put here. I've started to think...I've never lost any real close people (the closest one was one of my grandfather, dad of my dad, but he never care about me so do I). How will I react when I lose?
Sometimes I prefer to die now, to go away than to see who I like going first. I am a coward about death.
But only one thing I ask to my friends when I die: don't paint me like if I was a cool, perfect person, who loves life and those blablabla we are used to listen everytime. Show me real: someone who pissed off people, hated and loved. But, for some weird reason, someone who you couldn't avoid to have in your life...

Not today.

2005-12-15T19:39:00.000+01:00

Not in a good mood today.
In USA, one au pair was killed by her ex-boyfriend.
I am still trying to realize it in my head. You come to another country to live in another society, maybe searching to a better life and you find the death.
I am sad.

2005-12-10T02:07:00.000+01:00

French people make you bleed. Yes, I am drunk as hell, maybe someday I can talk about this better. Not now.

Run inspiration, run!

2005-11-28T12:13:00.000+01:00

Ok, I had one idea: start a blog in english, a good place to practise my english and my foreign friends could read without misunderstanding (you know, google and altavista translations SUCKS). Aham, sooo easy to say. Now I have this blog and... and nothing, I can't write anything. So, I ask again: where is my inspiration? My life isn't boring, here in Norway has a lot of interesting things to comment, but I don't know why, I don't feel the energy, the pleasure running in my veins to start a new text.
Fine, yes, I've started a norwegian course (men jeg ikke snakke norsk) so I don't have time to sit down and write for a long time, even e-mails to my sister or my friends. But I don't think this is a real excuse, because sometimes I just publish on the net what I've written in my notebook. Now, neither in my notebook I can write! Argh! This sensation is HORRIBLE, specially if you have studied something who forces you to be a good write (like journalism).
You could argue, saying my problem is my english, but not. In my portuguese blog (yes, in Brazil we speak portugese, don't you know? Shame on you) the situation is the same, I haven't written anything since 15th november! Sounds desperate, isn't? And yes, it IS.
This blog is new, so I don't have too many visitors, but if you are here and like my three texts, just leave a comment.
I hope I have another brainstorm in front of the computer soon. I really love to write.

The L word

2005-11-08T16:35:00.000+01:00

It's not what you are thinking about.
The L word, for me, is love. I mean, how many times you have problems with love? Being in love? Being outta of love?
Damn, a thing who should be a reason for happiness, make us so sad.
What's the problem? Who should take the blame?
I don't know...

2005-11-02T03:35:00.000+01:00

Test!

2005-11-01T15:33:00.000+01:00

Here I am, my first post in this blog. Yes, I've another blog, but it's in portuguese.
My first idea for this blog is call him 'my Walter ego', but the wonderful blogspot hasn't allowed. Damn.
So, I try with this 'mine walter ego'. Is it wrong in english? Yes! But I don't want to abandon the Walter idea.
No, I don't know any Walter and I am not a big fan of this name. Ok, bad joke...
Anyway, welcome to my life...